sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
