dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
