I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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