thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
