all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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