Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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