They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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