yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
