With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
