When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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