I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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