You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
