Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The Olympian is in my bed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
