I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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