I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
