im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
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Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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