just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
