We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
