so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize