Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize