we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
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