If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
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As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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