You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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