fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
