You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
