I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
