3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Nicole vs. Life
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
