Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
