Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
