You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
