Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
