i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
