My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize