i think my mom watched the whole time
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize