i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
