Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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