My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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