ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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