He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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