i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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