..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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