The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize