I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's blow job season.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
