Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
