So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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