I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize