I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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