Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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