I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
