It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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