Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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