we're blogging at a bar
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
