you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
