Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
how does that bad decision feel?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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