dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
